all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
