someone threw a dead crab at me
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
