we made out on top of his cat.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
