All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
