M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
