It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Randomize
