brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
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