if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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