When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
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