I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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