well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
