now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
