4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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