I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
organizing the empties. That sober.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize
