The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Acid is not a monday night drug
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
my shit smells like andre
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
