He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I wish I could punch you in the face.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
God I need to hump something, right now.
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