I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
