real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
