i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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