We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize