dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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