Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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