Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
