Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
