You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
