Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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