After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
