Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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