I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
