sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
zippers are such a cool invention
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
