i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
