do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize