You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
