yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
