So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
