i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Randomize
