her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
