I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
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