A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
well you can't waste a boner
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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