my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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