It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
