so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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