would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
