just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Randomize
