Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
