I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
