Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
