You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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