you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
