It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Randomize
