just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize