He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
