Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
