margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
