Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
