he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
