Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
