He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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