My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
